Random Thoughts

I’m trying desperately to find something deep and poetic within myself... to find words and phrases that fit together like the ocean and the sand, like fireflies and the nights, like anything else that fits together perfectly... But it seems that the harder i try to find that “something”, or to figure out any of the circumstances of what is going on, the further those ideas slip from my grasp or understanding...and I'm still at lost..Ughhh (not really..being a bit dramatic again)..

I'm sitting in front of my lap top now, and I think that I am in the mood to post...maybe it’s the writer in me, maybe i’m just bored...or maybe, I'm just being me..I’m going to do it anyways..So if you’re not interested I understand...I give you permission to stop and click out now..or, check out other's..This will probably be a little random, and you may not like what I say, so be prepared...hehe..Seriously, nothing..really..

I have to tell you how funny it is to look at how much I’ve changed..but It’s even funnier to look at how much I haven’t..I think that's pathetic, not funny.. sure, I have successfully finished 6 terms here and made it through everything alive. (maybe even with a little liver failure...who knows...I've been eating my liver all these while "makan hati"..hehe) ..I’m still extremely afraid of rejection..My feelings are still very easily hurt, and I still hide pain with words dripping in sarcasm...

When I was young, I was taught that when things get tough I always have tomorrow to look forward to...The notion that tomorrow will always bring better things is one that continues to be taught today..But tomorrow for me brings something different than the promise of something “better”...it brings me one day closer to having to figure out what tomorrow really means...Because tomorrow, is another day for me to live...and I don't know what tomorrow might bring..

Hey don't get me wrong, I'm not being melancholic here..I'm just too sleepy and bumped out after my Law class just now..Seiously hating it with every vein I have in my body..It's too theoritical and very serious subject..I'm trying my best to keep my cool and make it fun for my one and only student who is taking the subject this semester..That sucks..but..I'm the boss, I do what I want and she follows..huahua..

okay, whoever is nearby (even yg jauh) and free on Saturday, come over to Junior's house in Dabak Penampang..ada aramaiti..hehehe..

Happy weekends...