Time Sands....

I'm inside the exam hall, bored to death and sleepy, this three hours exam is really not my favourite thing to do..and, here I am, writing directionlessly..Well, this morning marking of another day gone by with in my ever filling diary of life, it occurred to me just how finite this all is, that each day crossed is another gone never to be reclaimed, one step nearer to the totality of life..No..No..I'm not going to talk about death again, alright!! Though it may sound corny..hehe
One more passing day in the diary of my life. Flipping forwards things to do, things moved from yesterday to today and tomorrow, events passing, events to come all dictated by time, the pale momentum moving on and on, myself powerless in my plight as I move forward, not being really sure of what to expect in the future... Even if I drag my heals and kick and scream, I can not stop the flight, time will not pause for me..Everything will fade into pale insignificance as day by day the time just slips away.
Flipping forwards in my diary, dates to come, meetings here, and meetings there, this to do and that to do, hours slipping by.. Just when did I buy in to all of this? How did I become so lost in the pages of my diary.. I do not recall ever agreeing to this, its just evolved around me, happened, one tiny date then another and yet more, each in turn filling up the pages of my diary, my time, my life..Things that I don't remember, but it happened..things that happened in front of my very eyes but could never be understood..Desparate for more explanation, but all to my dismay...Never, and they will be buried in the sand of time..
Struggling to move forward, trying to fix things while it can still be fixed..and making new plans in life..I just feel like I'm running out of help, and Faith...Where are you..? I'm losing you too..Is this my future so neatly marked by my own hand, is this all that I have to look forward to? My life mapped out like a grid before me, ordered, equal, right.. Just how did I become such a part of a system I can not stand.. Am I really as bad, buying into a dream of false happiness, burying my head in the sand of life’s delusional shores? How did this happen? How can it be? is this what I have become? Is this the way its meant to be? Page by page crossed out until my diary’s final page for me and out I slip and go? Then, in the end, I somehow understand that things happened, and there's nothing we can do about it..
History will be always the story of the past..Whether it is to be told and pass down to the next generation or, it will remain history and unknown to any...Fixing things that went wrong is harder than fixing a chimney on top of your roof..Let the sand of time heals everything, and wish that life would be easy and you may find happiness..and yes, thats definite...only if you see things from different side of views...
man..what am I saying again..? emm..this is what happen if you're bored, sleepy and you still have to invigilate for exam....
Have a nice day today, mine was great yesterday...hehe


Pardon me for my entry on 'even when I die'..yup..shouldn't be talking about death, dying anything as such..Life is precious..We live it only once..

Now, something more positive this time..I can't hardly wait for Saturday, it's the SABAHAN BLOGGERS GATHERING..When i go through the list of bloggers who have confirmed their attendance, I must tell that I am so excited..Meeting and making new friends with fellow bloggers..This morning, I ran through my wardrobe (as if I have any), and check if I have something suitable for that occassion..hehe..Kidding..

I don't know what to expect for a gathering like this, it will be my first of a kind, and funny me..am I getting all these butterflies inside? hehehe..Well, guys..let's bring it on..Hey wait..BRing what?? hehe..nevermind..

So..I shall see you there bloggers...

even when I die......

I was reading the newspaper today..Was specifically going straight to the classified pages in search of an opportunity for better employment..anyway, I couldn't help but read on some of the sad news about accidents and people get killed through various ways..and just reading them gave me goosebums..Normally, I will just skip these kind of stories..They are making me sick..and all those obituaries, emmm....I wonder, if my pic is going to be tagged "OBITUARY" someday..Oughh...Dad, if you read this, please...Don't do this...I don't want people to know..If you want to thank them, do so by sending them Thank You card..alright..Hehe

Since then, I've been thinking about how someday I’m going to die.. It’s not that big of a deal to me.. Hundreds of people die every second, so really, in the big picture, my death is pretty much insignificant to most..O well, maybe yes to my family members.. However, what I'm worried about is how people will remember me once I’m dead.. Sure, there’s the chance that I could do something great with my life.. like find a cure for some kind of disease, write some all-knowing computer program that finds a cure for some kind of disease, or becoming something awesome like the best Frisbee thrower in the world..I don't know how can this one be sooo fantastic.. Anyway, even though it is accomplished, one always needs a back-up.. An easier, simpler backup that would give one the same everlasting results, but in a more convenient package. This is what I’ve really been thinking about.

In my head, I’ve been picturing my death..It’s always been a curiosity of mine to see if I could die standing up and smiling.. Not straight standing (I don’t think that’s a physical possibility), but more like leaning in a corner and locking the legs and still smiling,hehe.. Hopefully when my heart has pumped it last pump, and my mouth has been fixed in an everlasting smile, I will pass on, but my shell will remain standing, as if saying ‘Hey guys, I’m dead and I’m still good to go.’
That’s the kind of impression I would like to leave..I wish I wont die with scary looking face...oughhh

Still, there’s the chance that my death won’t be slow, and that I won’t know exactly when I’m going to kick the bucket... Perhaps it’s a sudden, unforeseeable death.. Maybe I fell down the worlds longest flight of stairs, and after finally reaching the bottom, beaten to a pulp, bruised black and blue, and bleeding from places that I didn’t know blood flowed, I would have only seconds to leave a lasting legacy (other than, you know, falling down like a million stairs).. It is in this situation that I came to the conclusion that a phrase would best keep the memory of me alive.. I read a couple quote sites here and there on the topic, but none of the quotes really fit what I’m about.. It was then that I decided to come up with my final words ahead of time, so when the time comes, I will be orally prepared..

Even now, I’m still not sure exactly what they should be..Oo am I seriously going to think about one now??...Geezz..Maybe, loud proclamations of ancient mythology or the sense of approaching doom would be a good way to go... It would leave everyone in a sort of mental blur, their brains lost between feelings of sadness and fear.. It’s the kind of reaction that would really tear a family apart.. Or there’s always the option of yelling out a random phrase that sounds like you’re some kind of war hero about to enter his final battle..Hahaha..this one might work just fine.. A phrase such as ‘ONWARD… TO EVERLASTING GLORY’ or maybe ‘YOU THINK THE DEVIL CAN STOP ME?! I ACCEPT THE CHALLENGE!’ Or Saya Kunci Lirik ini..?? opss.. would probably be good terminal phrases to utter. It is vital that there are as many people as possible around to hear me, which allows for talking amongst themselves after, discussing what the words meant and why they were yelled at such as decibel level.. The confusion and worry that I would leave them with would be worth the fact that you are now deceased and about to be buried in the earth.

I'm really lost for words, and I don't have any conclusion at this point.. I think that in this case, I would have to keep a couple different phrases or ideas in the back of my mind, then when the time comes, I will choose accordingly.. If all else fails, I think it would be pretty cool to just start laughing, and then die mid-laugh.. Then everyone could say thatI laughed myself to death.. Not only is it happily optimistic, but for years and years people will wonder what the fuck was so funny...haha...Palis palis...

Good night

Law or Counselling Class??...

I was having my Law class today with my Higher Diploma student..Yup that singular..I have only one student in that particular class..It feels weird.. Really..and sometimes I feel like cancelling class and give her some tasks to do..But, hey, I'm not like that, I feel a great responsibility to perform every task given to me..So, its not the matter of me liking it or not...I carry out my duty without compromising anything..

Since, there's only one student in my class, I expect that she's going to give me her 110% attention, and that's what she does in every class..(she has two subjects with me)..In a class like this, of course I'm a bit informal..and I found out that it's a lot more effective this way..where we can actually discuss our topics more comprehensively and its not too intense or akward..Luckily, she's very outspoken, and she can actually relate the topics to things and current issues, and that helps me to minimize time explaining things to her..

This morning, as I was explaining our new chapter, she seemed lost, as if her mind is wandering somewhere, and she looked worried...She kept checking on her cellphone..I'm sure that she was not paying attention eventhough she nodded..I can't help but feel irritated by that attitude..But knowing that she is not like that..I stopped, and asked her what going on? at first she said, nothing..and sir, please continue..and so I did..but suddenly she cried..and said, she was sorry, she has problem with the boyfriend...Darn it!! IF she won't stop, the students in the next class would think that I have done something bad to her, and it was actually very embarrasing to have a crying student..

She cried for at least 10 minutes or so, and all the while I kept on asking her to stop..and I swear, I almost left..when she has calmed down, she told me all the things troubling her mind..how ugly she was before, and how fat she was..how she met her boy friend, and how the people around her (the friends, the family members) don't like her to be with the guy, coz the guy is too old for her and she's too young to get married just yet..I was like..What!! this is personal problem..I shouldn't be hearing all these craps..and then she went on, with a little sob..she told me that she suffered due to her atkins diet..Ow well, she looks like a model now..From 38cm waist size to 20cm..and she looks more confident now..

So, we end up discussing about her problem rather than going through our Law topics..I told her to see things in a more positive way, and don't let her mind plays trick on her.. Coz, from what she told me, she is having a normal couples problem..If they are really in love with each other, they should be able to find solution to any problem..If getting married now is not an option, then the boyfriend should wait until she finishes her studies or maybe, get her job..and then she said, I wish my boyfriend has a thinking like you..that's when I said..ok, our class finish for today..I hope I won't be hearing anything like this anymore in the future..I'm getting really stress myself...

There goes my 3 hours lectures..all to the waste..emm, not really..at least I've done something good for someone..eh, I didn't know, I can actually be a councellor..hehehe..But I have too much problems of own, there's no room left for other's...sometimes, I really think, I would someday be admitted to an asylum for all the craziness in the world..

K la..panat utak sa...

Weekend Madness & Events - Balik Kampung

After the crazy night out, on Saturday I went back to Kota Belud..Junior was too wasted and the hangover has taken toll on him..hehehe..He could hardly walk around, so I have to drive alone, but fortunately, Arteo was ever willing to accompany me on the long and lonely journey, haha..the best thing was..he drove from KK to KB..

alright..enjoy the pics la..

That's my beloved mum..

and thats my beloved sister..

and that's Jen2 my niece..the birthday girl..

Arteo my driver..hehehe..kidding..check out his blog PATCH

Reno..ko nda rindu sungai Kadamaian? hehehe

Sempat lagi pi pasar malam sama si Arteo..mau pi cari ikan masin si Gidong..hehe

Si Gidong bilang, bili ikan masin yg mcm ni..Sedap kunun..kin bubur..Heran sa..

Jen2 and Nathaneal..Both of them were born on the 27th July..jadi my sis nda payah susah2 buat 2 birthday parties..my niece and nephew...

me, my Dad and my brother..any resemblance?? hehehe..cam teda kan..

Well anyway, when it comes to family gathering like this, I'll try my best not to skip..This opportunity only comes once in a blue moon..Furthermore, KB is not that far..ada kerita juga bah..So kawan2 yg jarang2 balik kampung, balik la...

Weekends Madness & Events - Friday's Night..

Another weekends passed by, and I should say, the recent weekends were full of fun and entertainments..Well, actually, there's nothing much to say, I just want to share some pics taken throughout the weekends..

We went out to our regular watering hole last Friday..It was really fun, haven't been soooo crazy like this for so long..emm yaa..Hehehe..It was good that I've decided to take out the camera from the car and captured some great moments..Pheww..I didn't expect it, everyone was asking me to take their pics..and the next morning when I look at those pics, I couldn't help but laugh, coz I don't recongnize most of the faces..hahaha..Well, I made new friends, and its great..Everyone was having fun..Thats how we should live..hehe..I was a bit typsy when I was taking all these pics..but for the record, the pics turn out to be quite ok..Hehhe..Well, you guys have a look..aight...

These are my ex-students..Hemm..Well, they are not going to be in my class anymore..so, it was ok..Furthermore I wasn't drunk..Nothing to be ashame la..hehe
Gerard and Hazrain@Ten...

see...they were so happy..This was such a great moments with friends...

Gidong sama si Lumis..

The group next table..I don't know themm, but they were very friendly..So I took their pics..hehe

Ni pun totally strangers..I'm sorry bro, if you guys chance upon this blog, and find this pic offensive, pls let me know ASAP so that I can take it out..Anyway, this is a decent pic..my concern is, to some people, they don't like their pics to be published, especially without their concern..hehe..Well, let me worry about that later...

I stumbled upon these chicks (hehehe) inside the washroom..being a professional photographer (kavagu), sa ambil la pics dorang..They were all ready with their pose..hehe..funny

I think you guys know the guy in this pic..Looks familiar, right!! Sepa aa..sepa tau, tulung gia kestau sa..Sa nda kenal owh...Herhehhehehehe...

emmm..Sumpit and Tompok..Ehem...no comment..:)

See..cam adik beradik kan...si tompok and si Ps..Cam pakai uniform pun ada juga ni..hehehe

Sa nda kenal ni..dia suruh sa amik gambar sa amik la..Dia panggil sa bro, sa pun panggil dia bro..Bro Bro..whats up bro..hehe

Waah..begaya dorang ni..tension and stress turus sa tingu..sbb sa teda dalam ni gambar..hahahaha...

This guy is regular there..but never get to know him, sama juga..Bro juga nama dia ni..hehehe...

Samakan muka dorang..sbb this is Olumis punya sister and brother..thanks for coming ya..

Si junior and si Tompok our singers for the night..kan..hehehe

Sad thing is..I don't have pic of my own, coz everyone was too drunk to take my pic..Being photographer isn't cool..hehehe..kidding, I enjoy taking these pics..I was like a real photographer..hehe..
anyway, more pics on other events in my next entry...


I remember this saying when I was still a boy..and I can still remember it till now..I read it from the Reader's Digest..it goes something like this...

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage
to change, the thing I can, and the wisdom to know the difference...

I didn’t grow up religious, I mean not really religious eventhough I went to mission schools. I grew up knowing or rather believing in God and learning that there are things in life that happen for no apparent reason that we, mere mortals can’t see and nor truly understand..Many things happen in our everyday life, and sometimes I wonder, why things happen, and why do we have all these problems..All these are left unanswered, but..we learn to accept the facts that life is like that..

I have long ago desired peace and serenity in my life.. What person wouldn’t? There have been times when I have focused on changing what was not in my power to change. And equally there have been times when I have had the power to ensue change but have done nothing to do so.

During the harder times of my life I have taken to reciting the my Prayers, if only to give me strength and peace of mind to continue on with my life.. And to learn the valuable lesson that God is here to guide me with prayer and faith to help me along the path of life..and I realized, I have wandered so far..too far...

It is up to me to do what I can to make it better..and to steer clear of what is not in my hands to change. I believe, understanding the difference of the two is the key to happiness..

Have a nice weekends ahead...

Broken Hearts and Blessings

Now..don't get me mistaken, its just a title that I like for this entry..I'm not going through a break up at the moment, it has passed..and I'm all ok now..It's just that, sometimes, when I think about the past, I tend to get emotional..Like today, I was a bit emotional. I really don’t like these kind of days. When my heart feels heavy and my thoughts are steering directly negative..it’s hard to accomplish much. Strange how writing helps to sort through it all and alleviates some of the negativity. Negativity is so useless and crippling..I typically avoid it at all cost, but occasionally it seeps in and takes over and I just let it have full reign for awhile in hopes of chasing it off..

Broken hearts must be a popular topic..(I've have some post on this as well).. Knowing that state makes me wish so much I could help others who suffer. Other than a few very dear friends I might talk openly with at times, it’s one of those things I feel I must suffer through alone, right at the time when I most need to feel support and encouragement from others..I wonder if many others are like me and try to hide it and minimize the hurt? I’ve had friends who leaned heavily on me through those times and I’ve had other friends who I couldn’t tell if they were even struggling or hurting. I just know I hate to think of anyone alone and in pain. Maybe someday scientists will come up with a remedy for a broken heart. Wouldn’t that be fabulous? Then again, there’s something to be said for working through those things and fully experiencing that type and degree of hurt. It changes a person. Perhaps not always for the better, but at the least it makes us stronger..Right?..I’m sure there are more pleasant ways to instigate change, but broken hearts seem to force a change..In most cases, this is very true..

Overall though, it has certainly shown me that just because it feels like you might literally die inside, you probably won’t..It has forced me to take on a fresh perspective and greater appreciation for life and love.. I also might be just a tad jaded, but I don’t think that’s predominant yet, as even when I feel hopeless inside, I’ve come out on the other side.. I hope that never takes over. I don’t want to be that negative, gloomy, miserable suspicious person.. I wonder sometimes if I’ll allow myself to be ruled by fear when it comes to relationships now. This experience has even affected my friendships.. I can’t tolerate deceit with the same compassion I could before. And I also have more strength to stand up for myself against manipulative people..From necessity and survival instinct, I’ve just known that my tolerance level for such things has had to drastically reduced.. Also, there is this desire to connect, but keep myself safe from possible hurt at the same time. I’m like a curious and scared little bunny, twitching my nose in curiosity and then hopping off in a flash the moment I sense I care enough about another for them to hurt me. Up till now, I’ve never lived from a place of fear like that, I always had huge optimism and refused to accept anything less.

Gratitude: I experienced love. My basic needs are met. My dogs are truly a joy. My friends are phenomenal human beings. My father loves me. I can write out my thoughts. I have a few terrific genuine friends who care about me. I have enough of everything to keep me survived..I couldn't ask for more..I'm content, I'm satisfied..sometimes, less is enough...

I have so many blessings and gifts in my life, I will not allow myself to focus on heartbreak and feeling miserable. I’ve never been that person and I’m not going to allow this experience to turn me into that..That creates nothing except suffering and I love myself too much to allow senseless, eternal suffering into my heart. It takes up up too much room where love and faith want to be.. I must feel it, let it go, and move on with bigger love and compassion than before.. and remain grateful for the experience.

I'm not too sure, if I'm speaking for myself or someone else..but, heck..I love to remind myself that I'm worthy of something better..

Shoo negative clouds, shooo...Now..I'm really smiling..

Gidong punya tag...

Ni lagi satu tag..ntah apa2 la..Tapi oleh sebab si Butak (Gidong) yg suruh saya buat, saya buat juga la..(walaupun dengan hati yang berat)..Dia punya rules pun cam sinang ja..Soalan

KENAPA ANDA MEMBLOG? .. ok ka tu.. Why DO you BLOG?

Smua jawapan hendaklah di jawap dengan menggunakan gambar2 yang berkaitan..(Mana sa mau cari gambar2..sa bukan gila begambar macam ko BUtak..Huh..) APa2 ja lah..Saya akan buat dengan tenang, dan gumbira...

5 sebab saya BlogGIng..


Sebab kawan sa pun ada blog..


Sa mau tunjuk gambar anjing2 sa yg comel2 belaka tu..


Sa mau tunjuk sa terer amik gambar..Walaupun sebenarnya tidak..Huhuhu


Dari blogging ni la sa dapat lebih ramai kawan...


hehe..sebab sa vain..so sa pun mau minta puji la..hehehe

Ok butak..siap sudah sa buat..Oleh kerana ni tag nda berapa mencabar, malas la sa mau meneruskan usaha murni tuk tag orang lain..So, sampai di sini sahaja la yang sa mampu buat..

Selamat petang dan jan tidur masa berkerja...


Hi, I'm Angelo...

Angelo .. my new baby..

I have just adopted a new baby yesterday..a boy..a white one..and he's gorgeous, and charming..It was almost punch out time when my colleague said, he cannot take care of his baby..and he wanted to give him away for adoption..without any further question I said "yes"..So, I went to his house to see the baby..The first time I saw him, I knew,,I can't resist..I need to bring him home..He looked very friendly and very happy, he licked my face all over..and yes, I'm talking about a puppy here..Not human baby..

While driving home, I tried to find a name for him..The first name came across my mind was, ROcco..so I called him Rocco the whole night..and this morning Junior (who is also gila anjing) called me, he said...the puppy doesn't look like a Rocco, and he suggested Buddy..Well, he looks like a Buddy to me..and I agreed to call him Buddy..Few minutes later, Junior called me again..He suggested another name..Angelo..Hey,I love it..He has this angelic looks on his face..(as if i've seen an angel before)..but anyway, he is to be called Angelo..the American Sheep Dog..hehehe..

It's hard for me to concentrate today, I keep on thinking about Angelo and how happy he is playing with Yuki..(they are about the same size)..I can imagine the two running around the house playing chase me if you can and hide and seek..I wish I was at home now..I'm still sad, whenever I think about Bobbi..(the one who died)..Now I have 5..means, I have to go through it for five times..(shit...I shouldn't be having this thinking..)It hurts me just to think about that...

Alright..the pics will come up soon..

our movies...hehehe

Curi dari si junior..hehehe..enjoy the movies...ehehe

Softly As I Leave You...

So, everyone is doing this tagging games..It's kinda cool but sometimes, I think it's a bit too boring...but hey, I have never missed doing any tagged given to me, alright..emm, maybe 1 or 2..hehehe..My first tagged entry was cool..it went something like this..

List down 5 things/facts that people don't really know about you..I've listed them all, but I guess people have forgotten that..and that's the purpose of the game, you're not required to remember them, it's just for fun, and for those of you who have ran out of idea of what to blog about, this tagging game has proven to be very helpful..like in my case..all the time..

Now, I was thinking..(coz I've never really tag anyone before) of a simple but kinda fun tagging game..I got this one from someone in my other blog, and would like to share it with you..anyway, I have modified the rules of this game, to make it simpler and more originally mine..hehehe..and be prepared, I might want to tag few people by the end of this post..

1. Put Your iTunes, Windows Media Player,MP3 player, your playlist, ETC on Shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
4. Put any comments in brackets after the song name.
5. Put this on your journal.
6. You may continue on tagging others if you wish, and if you don't..you will not
commit any sin or crime..so, be happy..This is just a game..

Question 1..
If someone says, “Is this okay?” You say?
My baby you-mark anthony (I bet he/she will be surprised with that abrupt remark)

Question 2..
How would you describe yourself?
Love on the Rocks-Neil Diamond (Ugh..I just don't know how can it be related, but i guess, its trying to tell me that my life has a very strong foundation..?? well..who knows..or maybe, my life is not stable like the love on the rocks..??)

Question 3
What do you like in a girl/guy?
Beautiful disaster-Jon Mclaughlin (ow yess..I need a beautiful disaster..Pity me..)

Question 4
4.How do you feel today?
So close-Jon Mclaughlin (yet so far..it's almost the end of the month, and i'm not ready yet...hehe)

How could I face the faceless days
If I should lose you now?
We’re so close
To reaching that famous happy end
And almost believing this was not pretend
Let’s go on dreaming for we know we are
So close
So close
And still so far

Question 5
What's your life's purpose?
Till death do us part-White Lion (ughh..really? I love deeply, but that's not my life's purpose..Whatever la..)

Question 6
What do your friends think about you?
Carry you home-James Blunt (well, they don't have any choice but to carry me home if I'm drunk somewhere..hehehehe..Seriously, I don't know what they think about me..I'm tired of trying to figure out..)

Question 7
What do you think about your parents?
Me and Mrs Jones-Billy Paul (it's suppose to be Mr and Mrs Salimun..anyway, I think my dad is still in love with my mum..and actually thats for sure..I love them)

Question 8
What do you think about very often?
Supreme-Robbie williams (hey, could it be pizza supreme?? and I don't even like pizza..hehehe)

Question 9
What do you think about your best friend?
Something beautiful-Robbie williams (yup..true, I think my best friend is something beautiful..hehe)

Question 10
What song would you want them to play at your funeral?
Let's Stay Together-Al Green (cooool..yeah I want them to play this song when I die)..

Let's, let's stay together
Loving you whether, whether
Times are good or bad, happy or sad

Oooo oooo ooo ooo, yeah
Whether times are good or bad, happy or sad

Why somebody, why people break up
Oh, and turn around and make up
I just can't seeeeeeeee
You'd never do that to me
'Cause being around you is all I see
It's why I want us to

Question 11
What's your biggest fear?
Call me irresponsible-Micheal Buble (yup, Don't call me irresponsible..I'm scared..whatever!!!)

Question 12
What would you post this entry as?
Softly as I leave you..(I'm gonna tag few bloggers and I'm gonna leave you with that..and will whisper slowly to your ears "please do it..."..hehehe..kidding)

It's my turn to tag...
1. Gurangank
2. Wel
3. Jerry
4. ReNo
5. Junior
Sorry guys..but you don't have to do it if you can't..susah baini..sa tau..hehehe

TAGGED BY Jerry...

I have nothing better to do for the time being..Marking my exam papers is not fun at all, and I'm still very sleepy..Went out to watch The Dark Knight last night..and for the first time in history, I cannot rate the movie..I don't even know if its good or not..hehe..Funny me, 5 minutes after the movie started, I fell down to my dreamland...I SLEPT!!! all the way to the middle of the movie, and when I thought I've missed it, I continued on sleeping till the end of the show..a big clap for me..Well thats me, I have this tendency to fall asleep even while watching the most exciting, interesting movie..but not sleep all the way through..hehe..

Well, I've been tagged..

“The rules of the game get posted at the beginning.Each player answers the questions about themselves.At the end of the post, the player then tags 5 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know they’ve been tagged.Let the person who tagged you know when you’ve posted your answer.”

Question 1
What were you doing 5 years ago?
I was still in shah alam, undergoing my degree..having fun and wasting my parents hardly earned money..I can still remember the every night outings with my friends..and I kinda miss them so much now..If I could only turn back time, I would have saved all the money, coz now I know, its not easy to save any..

Question 2:
What were the 5 things on your to do list today?
a. Iron my shirt
b. Feed my dogs
c. Reservation and Ticketing Mid-Term Exam
d. Do my laundry
e. Sleep early
two more to go before I completed everything..(actually I don't have any 'to-do-list' for today)..

Question 3:
What are the 5 snacks that you enjoy?
I love snacking..those 5 would be
a. Prawn crackers
b. My Jacob Oatmeal
c. more crackers
d. Ice cream
e. Durian....why not, if there's any, right?..hehehe

Question 4:
What are 5 things that you would do if you were a billionaire?
A billionaire?? Are u kidding me...? I don't have any debt, right..? Since I am a billionaire..Not a billionaire, suddenly...emmmm..so I don't have to pay any debt..
a. I'll buy properties..Lands and houses..and I'll buy house in Greece..Lovely..
b. I'll buy my dream cars...a kancil..kidding..
c. I'll travel around the world of course..and I'll bring my family with me..
d. Open up my own resort, where dogs are allowed...
e. I'll be generous..If i'm that filthy rich, my family would be too..
emm..I wish I could be one..lets not say bout being billionaire..a millionaire is enough..Huh!! God is fair...

Question 5: What are 5 jobs you've had?
a. First, after my S.P.M I gave English tuition..
b. I worked in a hotel in shah alam for 3 years..My first serious job..
c. When I came back to Sabah, I worked with one company as Business Executive..Damn..I regret that I have worked with this company..A waste of time..but, I'm happy coz my colleagues there are still my friends now..and we're still very close..
d. I left the company because I don't think I could grow..and while waiting for better job opportunity, I joined Selera Sutera as a tele-marketing executive..I loved it there, good friends and good company, but the m0ney was not encouraging..and I'm not a sales person..Well, anyway, I know my capability, and I'm glad that I'm not a real loser afterall..hehehe
e. and now I'm currently employed with ASian Tourism INternational as a lecturer in Tourism..I love teaching, but I'm eyeing on other college now..Hope the opportunity will come...


and it stops here..DOn't feel like tagging anyone...

tapi kalau si Tompok-susan, or si clarice, si PS ka mau buat..ok lang pok..sige na..hehehe

Ujung minggu yg best...

Kalau sa tidak pigi tu, memang rugi la..approximately 2 hours and 30 minutes, kalau laju buli sampai 2 jam ja..It's Sumpit's kg..somewhere in Tenom, pa tu nama dia..Kg.Melalap, eh no..Kg.Louson (lapar)..no wonder, sepanjang masa kami di sana, rasa mau makaaaaan ja, sip baik la, makanan betimbun..hehehe..I mean, banyak makanan..yg paling best..Makan durian..Seriously, I don't mind going back there, eemm, tapi..malu la, nanti ketahuan mau makan ja..hahaha..Thanks to sumpit and especially to his parents, nda lupa juga ku mau ucapkan setinggi tinggi penghargaan tuk si Betty yg banyak mengumpulkan durian sejak awal pagi..hehehehee..Makasehhhh banyak2...Yg paling best, spending the weekends with those friends yg baru sa kenal..but, rasa2nya mcm 10 tahun sudah kenal la...len kali pi kampung si Gidong lagi, k dong...hehehe

penyambut tetamu..cissh, kena tipu!! Ku ingat ni la rumah si sumpit, rupa2nya, ni rumah dorang punya pekerja..Tipah tertipu lagi...Whatever!!!...hehehe

perghh!!..We didn't expect the place (kg si sumpit) to be like that..I mean, it is well lanscaped, it looks like a resort in the middle of the jungle..banyak pokok buah buahan, ada small stream but the water is really cold and refreshing, and fish fonds, pendek kata, you can find everything here..in a more than 10 acres piece of land..Kaya ni Sumpit ni..hehehe

bagi dorang yg nda pandai merambat ikan cam sa, dorang pi cari lokan ja dalam kolam..hehehe..best gile..it has been ages sa tidak merambat, but..not bad..buli dapat ikan juga bah..hehehe..

lepas merambat ikan dan meramas lokan..masa tuk mandi sungai..best..

dinner..smua makanan sedap2 belaka..sebab kami sendiri yg masak..emm, sa pun ada masak juga aa..hehehe..

and then...

ughhh...teda cerita la..ni sekadar gambar hiasan sahaja..hehehe..la la la la la

"sayang, bangun sayang..." next morning, bangun awal..sbb dengar suara si Betty suruh bangun..It was still very early, but..smua bangun juga la..hehehe..After breakfast, pi cari durian jatuh..Something that I have never done before..

actually, banyak tu durian kami dapat, but tuk ni pic, kami kasi tunjuk yg kecil2 ja..hehehe..

there are few durian trees..most of them ada buah..memang untung la dapat makan durian free2..hehehe..

sessi makan dan berebut durian..what la u guys, banyak bah tu durian mau juga korang berebut..hahaha..

yup..kami2 la ba tu yg pi kasi abis durian si sumpit..hehe..sebelum balik, sempat lagi bergambar..kenangan la katakan..

alright..that's my weekends..I hope this weekends ada aktiviti2 yg sihat lagi..

have a nice day all...

just be me..

Sometimes when I am around others I just want to disappear. This is a terrible feeling, it’s almost like I start to feel trapped and all my mind can focus on is getting out. I don’t want to focus on conversation.. I can’t make conversation. I just think about how stupid I am and how I do not want anyone to see me..

I know this is a terrible way to think about myself.. Sounds like I have no confidence in myself, I fear that everyone is judging me, and someone is hating me..(and there's nothing I can do about it if it happens), and for some reason I think, even if they really are, that it is alright and what they think of me, should not be my problem.. Because, I know, I am not what others think of me. I try so hard to love myself but sometimes, it’s true, I do hate myself..Passionately..

I have written a lot about learning to be who you want, and doing this in spite of what others think you should be.. I truly believe this, I really do.. It helps me, too, to know that I am on the right path. It is just that sometimes I forget it.. I need to constantly remind myself that I am, and hopefully I will begin to get these feelings less and less..

For a start...I am who I am..I live and rule my own life..I don't see the world as it is, I see it as I am..hehehe..

Have a wonderful weekends ahead...

I don't know, what's with that pic, I just feel like posting it,hey I'm being me..may problema ba? hehee


and listen to this beautiful song by Mark Medlock & Dieter Bohlen..Unbelievable..My theme song for today..and ow yes, gonna donate some blood today..

Have a nice day today and enjoy my songs ya...


It's not the way you smile
in the morning
It's not the way you kiss
me tonight
It's not the way you smile
when you're yearning
It's not the way you're holding
me tight

Words can't express
they cannot express
what you mean to me

You're unbelievable
I can't believe my eyes
when I'm with you
You're unbelievable
you're just incredible
and i can't can't breath without you
can't breath without you!

It's not the way we spend
nights together
It's not the way you're looking
at me
It's not the way you say
it's forever
for ever or will be
will be

Words can't express (words can't express)
They cannot express (they cannot express)
what you mean to me

You're unbelievable
I can't believe my eyes
when I'm with you
You're unbelievable
you're just incredible
and i can't can't breath without you
and I can't breath without you!

You're unbelievable
I can't believe my eyes
when I'm with you (yeah when I'm with you)
You're unbelievable (unbelievable)
you're just incredible
and i can't yes and I can't can't breath without you
and I can't can't breath without you!


pics na lang..ok..tingu ja la aa...teda editing ni..malas mau edit2..

ni besa ni..all the way from Sandakan to Semporna, ni ja pemandangan yg ada..lama2 cam mau muntah tingu kelapa sawit ja..

at a friend's house in Semporna, teda mau buatkan, so while waiting for our friends from Tawau, ni la kerja kami..Shooting blind..hehehe

Seaventures oil rig..just off of Mabul..nda jauh tu, you can actually swim..kalau ko terrer macam sa la..hehehe

baru habis our diving session on the first day, so Jr and I cam whoring la the whole evening..ya la, teda pokok kelapa yg mau di gambar atas oil rig..

sunset from the sundeck..ok2 la..cantik lagi sunset di waterfront la..emm

pastu, teda mau buat..kami sempat lagi 'aramaiti' sikijap..not much la, 1 botol of chivas and a botol of vodka, tu ja la yg kami mampu..

Mabul water village resort..cantik la ni resort..but it's very expansive..buli bili BCD oo dia punya harga..What..ever...

Mike, Ghani, Wan, Richard, Me, Junior, and Hassim..The photographer is Razaliq, and one more friend wasn't able to join us, kurang sihat after our first dive..

scubapro team..hehe..smua experienced divers ni..segan la juga mau diving sama dorang..tu la, I have to really act cool, and control my breathing so that I won't have to surface before the dive is completed..hehe

that's junior and I..I tried to smile, but..nda dapat la..hehe..the visibility was very2 clear..

There were actually 2 schools of baraccuda, and after a while they merged and became one very large school of baraccudas..Damn..I've never seen so many fish, or I've never seen any Baraccuda in my whole life..

white tip shark..friendly baini..heran sa si PS takut oo..hehehe

dorang bilang dorang nampak few turtles..but I saw only one..sip juga la nampak...kalau nda, I won't surface tu, biar la abis oxygen ku..hehe

clown fish..si nemo baini..I was quite surprised, I didn't see many of this in Sipadan..banyak lagi di Malohom bay..

itu2 ja la gambar yg sa mau kasi tingu kamurang..banyak bah lagi tu, tapi malas sa mau resize..too many, and too time consuming..