life's events...

I'm trying so hard to come up with a real entry this week but, my mind is just too cluttered with so many things..Some of them are just unneccessary..but, yet..I'm still thinking of them..and to my surprise, they occupied more of my time thinking about them other than those which are worth thinking of..There are lots of things going on in my mind right now..With my classes, and this weekend's programs..and future trips..I just can't think straight..

Remember I told you about our friend who is in a very critical health condition now?..I was informed this morning that his condition is getting worse..and the Hospital has adviced the family members to be ready for any bad news..Ughh..That is really sad..How can you stand being there and watch your love ones breathe their last breath..?..and I was so touched to know that his good friend came back from KL just to be with him..and supporting him to keep on fighting..(I really pray and hope he could fight this one..) God's will..and this good friend is willing to leave all other things for the sake of a dear one..Now I can feel flush of tears wanting to flow out of eyes..This is something that I myself could not even dare imagine..Miracles..That's what everyone is waiting for..For now..I just need your prayers...

Well..tomorrow is the harvest festival celebration.. While everyone might be jumpping up and down in anticipation of this big event..I'm not even interested at all..I have lost the spirit of this celebration..Ow wait..I should say, I have never been so excited about Kaamatan..all the excessive drinking is done almost every week so, what difference does it make on Kaamatan..?? The only reason for me to be happy about kaamatan is the holidays..eventhough it is only for one day this year..Huhu..

Going back to my parents' on Saturday..this time all the family members will be there..all the siblings and my parents..We're gonna take a family potrait..how cool is that..? hehehe.. Well, thats really cool, coz we have never taken any family potrait yet..and that is so pathetic..and on Sunday..It's diving day..Really looking foward for this..yeahaa..

KOTOBIAN TADAU KAAMATAN SA INYONG LAHAT..hehehe..

hargai nyawa anda...

hey..ni ari sa mau tulis dalam bahasa melayu dusun, buli toi?? ok bah kan..malar cakap english ja..minta puji tul..hehehe..Tu mengutuk diri sindiri ja tu aa..Ok..hari ni, mcm hari2 besa, kelas sa start pukul 9..(shit...lupa buat lesson plan..) Kelas pertama ada boring sikit..em, sebenarnya boring banyak, sbb dalam kelas tu ada satu org student ja..Can u imagine that..? Pandang2 jeling2 orang yang sama ja..Nasib baik la ni student ada response juga..I mean, responsive juga la, kalau sa tanya soalan at least dia tidak la diam cam meja ja..Kalau dia dogo2 skit, sa rasa sa give up awal2 lagi tu..(nasib baik dia cun)..hehehehe..Uisshh!!! Student sa tu, mana buli pai suka2 ati..hehehe..

Semalam sa ngan si Jr pi lawat kawan yg sedang sakit tenat di hospital Queen..Walaupun sa baru beberapa kali ja jumpa dia ni, sa rasa sangat sedih..Yelah, sudah hampir 1 tahun he has been fighting this deadly sickness..(eh, pa hal ckp english ni..hehehe)..Pa yang akan kamu buat sekiranya suatu hari, you have an aching back..yg besa2 ja..Then, you go and see the doctor..Selepas doktor buat pemeriksaan, kamu didapati menghidap tumor..and that tumor bertukar menjadi kanser..?..Saya rasa, masa tu lah sa mati..I would feel as if that is the last day sa hidup di dunia..Walaupun dia sudah menjalani rawatan kimoterapi, dan minggu lepas, saya dengar kabar, dia sudah boleh balik rumah tuk berehat..Maksudnya, rawatan yg dia jalani tu berjaya la kan, tapi sebaliknya, he has concussion..and was rushed to the hospital..and ditempatkan dalam ICU..

Saya tidak boleh imagine, atau lebih jelas kalau saya ckp, sa tidak tau apa mau buat sekiranya dia adalah salah seorang daripada ahli keluarga saya..Kalau itu yg berlaku, saya sanggup derma apa saja (anggota badan)..and kalau buli transfer tu penyakit pi badan saya, sa sanggup ja..Well, that's what we say la..tapi kalau sekiranya itu benar2 berlaku.....are u willing to be the one who is dying..?? Susahkan..that's why, sejak semalam, sa berasa amat bersyukur kerana saya masih sihat..dan saya harap ahli keluarga sa pun smua sihat2 belaka..We should be thankful to God..Hargai la nyawa anda...Tuhan tidak akan menduga kita dengan dugaan yg berat yg tidak mampu kita tanggung...Dia maha adil..

Anyway, skg sudah tidak hujan lagi..boleh sa pi main tenis ni petang dengan reket yg baru..hehehe..Promote sikit..Klu sepa2 yg mau main tenis tu buli la datang pi sana kompleks sukan Likas aa..hehehe

Babai...(cam bidaaa..tapi antam ja la...)

musics and my soul..

I wonder if all broken hearts turn to music for solace...but for me..i do..There are songs that remind me of everything..and songs that suit my every occassion..I wonder, what would life be without musics??..I think...life would be pale and utterly pointless..Not entirely..and not to everyone..I was driving to my workplace this morning, and this song was played on the radio..and suddenly I felt like, I was missing someone very much..but I'm not sure who..O well, yes I know who..but, what the song has got to do with this person that I was missing suddenly?? I was amazed by the great impact that very song has on me..and then, when I finally reached my office..my colleague played the same exact song on his computer..damn!! Was that a mere coincidence or, it was really a hint for me..I would go for the first one..or maybe the later..emm..either one..I can't believe myself..the song was like my theme song for today..I was actually singing it out loud in my class..a simple but lovely song..I think I've posted it in my previous entry..

alone again...naturally..

hehehe..maybe I'm just being too emotional..

...

Satuday was a day filled with laughters, good friends..and mr.siopon, mr.beers, mr.chivas and Uncle JD swing..after sometimes, I forgot my where abouts..I could vividly remember what exactly had happened but the next morning I woke up with a huge bump on my head...Ouch!!! What happened? I tried to remember, but that was to no avail..I failed to retain my memory..and I didn't remember taking off my clothes..few small bruises spotted in few areas of my body..and one is aching like hell..Still trying to remember..I tried harder..I failed..then I gave up..

alright..I was drunk..and I don't think I was smarter than a fifth grader...Basically getting drunk isn’t clever, you’re not impressing anybody.
Everyone thinks they can maintain style or composure, but the truth is, you’re not cool when you’re drunk... people aren’t more interested in you (this is, of course, unless they’re drunk too) you look like a morontarded fuck when you’re drunk, you certainly don’t sound kickasssmarter...Mind my language..I might sound like I'm still drunk..but, hey..I'm not..Duh!!!..hehehe.. However at least no one’s surprised when you vomit or tip over...

Well..the blame is mine...Who ask me to mingle around with these 4 friends..Mr.Siopon, Beers, JD Swing, and Mr Chivas..I think I can drink, but..I found out that I'm such a loser sometimes..okay, I'll post some of the pics here once I get the green light from few persons..okay...

be cheerful...

It's funny, sometimes...or most of the time I don't understand the sudden change of emotions I'm having..but, at least, I know..they are still in control..I was lazying around in the office just now, feeling really bored and I think I can die of this boredom..Oh yes, in case if you're wondering, if I have nothing to do..I salute myself for having done all my works earlier before the semseter starts, and now all I have to do is to deliver my lectures..what else can I do, I wonder...then, I took the newspaper and started reading so seriously..That is how, this sudden feeling arise...

I don’t know if I am depressed, and I am not even sure if my life is in danger but I just know that I am tired of feeling nothing for my life.. I have a small, limited satisfaction in the things I do.. Life does feel like a chore, but not a chore I completely detest, but a chore that I’ve grown so mindless at..a blur and I hardly remember what the motivation is..

It is increasingly less about social anxiety as it is about my displeasure with going about daily life. I hear, watch and read tragic things on the news, thousands of deaths involved, and for some sick reasons I feel absolutely nothing at all. No initial shock. It takes longer and longer for me to put myself in another’s shoes and feel sympathy. I feel shame for that..Really..

I am a positive and cheerful person, one who sees the glass as being half full..and I find excitements in even the smallest thing..As much as I try not to get myself into depression..I cannot run, let alone hide from the facts that life has its' ups and downs..To blame oneself on what is happening around you or to you is more than just a norm..We feel better if we could blame someone for the thing that goes wrong..

Right now I feel hopeless..I am wondering if I even have an issue here, maybe I am imagining something that’s not real.. I have the feeling there is nothing anyone can do to help me here...It’s never been anyone else’s responsibility to keep me alive, anyway... I hope life would get better for each and everyone of us..Be cheerful anyway...

it's just a dream....

..This is still about dreams...hehehe...

I dream a lot... And I remember them often, whether good, bad, intuitive or just plain weird.. When I’m stressed I get these crazy dreams where I’m gnashing my teeth together uncontrollably and soon they start to fall out and my gums turn to mush, but I’m still gnashing, and grinding, and panicking that I can’t stop...and I could remember very well of a dream because it's kind of reoccuring..I dream of a big waves, really big, I guess that it's tsunami, back then, I assummed it was only waves..and in that waves about dream thingy, I was always there to save my younger sister from drowning..I tried hard to save her but, everytime I thought I had a strong grip of her arm, I found out that it was some kind of woods instead, and I saw my sister drifted even further into the deadly waves..Funny, sometimes I wake up regretful and sobbing because I cannot save her...Weird..

But this morning I had a dream dripping with a recurring and fearful theme, one much worse than losing my teeth. This insidious mind cinema played itself out through my drifting mind with unmerciful glee...(they said, it is a sign that bad thing is going to happen, most probably..death of a family members..Shoooss!!!) I couldn’t have stopped it if I tried.. And when I woke, loneliness engulfed me. This dream, it grabbed me by the throat and poisoned me with its sadness, its fear, its agony.. I know it wasn’t real and I know it’s ridiculous to let it get to me but I just can’t seem to shake it today.. I feel completely unsettled..and I'm still trying to figure out what was that I dreamth about actually.

Well, somehow I think dream will be just a dream..it's part and parcel of our complicated life..They add color to our otherwise boring nights..leave you with this quote..By Jim Rohn..Read and understand them carefully ya..

What we ponder and what we think about sets the course of our
life. Any day we wish; we can discipline ourselves to change it
all. Any day we wish, we can open the book that will open our
mind to new knowledge. Any day we wish, we can start a new
activity. Any day we wish, we can start the process of life
change. We can do it immediately, or next week, or next month,
or next year.

We can also do nothing. We can pretend rather than perform. And
if the idea of having to change ourselves makes us
uncomfortable, we can remain as we are. We can choose rest over
labor, entertainment over education, delusion over truth, and
doubt over confidence. The choices are ours to make. But while
we curse the effect, we continue to nourish the cause. As
Shakespeare uniquely observed, “The fault is not in the stars,
but in ourselves.” We created our circumstances by our past
choices. We have both the ability and the responsibility to
make better choices beginning today.

- Jim Rohn -


Good night everyone....

Life's Good..

My dream last night was a series of nightmares..I hate when I have dreams like that..While I can't remember most part of it, I'm really glad that afterall it was just my weird and scary dreams..Phewwww!!.I was awakened early this morning, my dogs were barking and whining continuously and forced me to wake up to see what is happening, and so I did, when I came out, I saw Bobby and Rex were barking at a small lizard on the ceiling...WTF!!! I mean..Hey, it was only a lizard for heaven sake..Let me sleep in Peace...I switched off all the lights and went back to sleep..It's only 4am,boys... don't expect me to prepare breakfast yet..Hehehehe..

Hey, you wanna know something that driving me really crazy about now..? Hehehe..Seriously, I'm really jumpping up and down now..Jr has booked ourselves a place in a coral planting programs in Selingan next month, or probably in July..Dude!!! I mean, Pok...Seriously ka ni?? Hehehe..This is like an offer of a lifetime..Everything will be sponsored by the Sandakan Fishery Department..Except for my airfare from KK to Sandakan la..This is great..I wouldn't wanna miss it..and in August, I will be joining the trip to Sipadan,Mabul and Bohey Dulang..I can't wait for this as well..Need to get my gears ready..Hehehe

Now I have a big smiley on my face..I hope this is not just a dream..hehehe

Well, you have a great day today ya...

PADI CERTIFIED

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Yesss!!!..You're looking at a diver there..hehehe..Yup, finally, the diving course was completed..Eventhough I failed to do the last skill which is the emergency ascent...Damn it..I hate it..Went down to 7 meters, and then I have to use my last breathe and fin up to the surface..That was really frustrating..Everyone else managed to do it at one go, I have to do it like more than 4 times..haha..Anyway, in a real situation, I'm sure I would be able to come up to the surface without any difficulty..Yeah..Can't wait for August to come..I wonder how does it feels like diving in Sipadan...Cool..

Spanish Lesson 1...

Esta es mi primera tentativa de escribir en espanol..no ria por favor..hehehe..Se, el puede ser que suene divertido..Todavia estoy aprendiendo..Amo espanol mucho..

Pronto va a llover. El cielo ha dado vuelta realmente a obscuridad. Espero que no llueva el sabado, porque soy salto que va..El tiempo ha sido tan imprevisible ultimamente.

Bien, ese es todo para ahora..Escribire mas cuando soy bueno ya..Adios para ahora. Le vere otra vez.

Hehehe..maksud dia nanti korang pandai2 cari aa..hehehe..

teda apa2 juga..

Came early for work today..Yup, you see, our punch card would turn red at 8.30 every morning..I punched in at 8.29 today, and that was early for me..Hehehe..Cool aight..I have always come in late these past few days since its college break, and I'm taking it for granted..huahua..

I was feeling really fresh when I woke up this morning..I finally managed to bring Rex and Sisqo for a short walk..something that I hardly ever done..hehehe..Well, perhaps I should do this more often..(yeah..right)..this is good for me and for them also..They have been very good, they behave well..but not Bobbi and Rocky..Unless they stop biting Yuki then they will have the chance to walk around the neighborhood area with me every morning..hehehe..Every morning!!!? why am I laughing at myself..? hehehe..

I'm preparing all my notes for next semester..Ugh!!..I was given new subjects again this semester, something that I'm not so happy about..I'm gonna teach Tourism and Hospitality LAW, Reservation and TIcketing, and Tour and Travel Operation Management..and I still have 3 more subjects other than these..Everytime I look at my new schedule, I feel like throwing up..Seriously hating it..

Well on a positive tones, I should be happy, it means, I'm employed, and there are many who are jobless out there..Yeah!!! I'm gonna get everything done today, because tomorrow I'm gonna take a day of from hell..opss..from work..You have a great day today..

Oo..I really hope that the weather condition would improve by Saturday...PLeaseeeeeeee, don't ruin my diving day..ehehe

1.30pm Ramblings...

The sun was shining through the windows of my room, showing the beauty of the world in its infinite simplicity. That is one of the little things I enjoy waking up to. The silence and calm that comes with the rising of the sun. It reminds me that today is a new day. With a new day, I can start all over, keep going forward, or make some changes..or at least do something meaningful..

You see each day we are granted 24 hours, and no matter what we cannot buy more time... So we have a choice of what to do with those precious 24 hours... Do we take a chance on love, make new memories, lay in bed and hide from the world, cry inside our hearts, or choose to live and to take on this world for all its got? That is what I was thinking as I lay in bed this morning, thinking about today, and how easily the fear of trying keeps me from what I want...

Fear is a powerful weapon, an opponent that live inside of all of us. Taking away our will to be strong, to live, and to strive for what we want even in the face of adversaries... Sometimes the fear is a rational one, and it can end up keeping us from doing something stupid. However, I am focusing on those irrational fears that we all have... The ones that keep us bounded in that self-inflicted cage from day to day.. You wake up feeling afraid of what today will bring your way.. Your heart is racing, thinking about all the things you have to do today... All you want to do is curl up back into bed, and let sleep wash away everything you fear.. You feel anxious to try new things, go places you enjoy, overall you just feel weighed down by fear...

That voice inside of our heads whispering sinisterly that we are unable or incapable, not good enough, not worthy, not smart, all it whispers are words of fear and negativity. Why do we psych ourselves out when we are capable of doing what we need to or want to? Why do we let the words of others who do not matter hold us down from finding our glory on this earth? It all comes down to irrational worries, fears, and it will be our downfall if we don’t start fighting back.

Now, the question is..How do you fight yourself..? Have you ever fight yourself? Or..you just let yourself be..?.. You make a conscious choice to do something about that fear... You make a conscious choice to realize that it exists, and that you have to do something about it... You make a conscious choice to fight back, and reinforce your willpower over it.. If you want to do something, and fear is the only thing keeping you away from it. Acknowledge the fear, think through the pros and cons of the actions you do or do not take. You cannot let fear keep you from living, dreaming, or walking upon this earth..

Simply remind yourself...Don’t let fear keep you from a bright and beautiful future!! Lets go diving everyone..hehehe

Refugee in reality...

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First Dive....

Some people are scared to try scuba dive, some people love this sport and always find their excuses to go somewhere only to dive.. As I've ever mentioned in my previous entry, I've been wanting to do this since long time ago but I only found the courage to go for it recently, since, I have friends and buddy who are willing to do it together with me..and seriously, I did my first dive yesterday...

Our supposed to be confined water training should be in Sapi Island, but the wave was too pierce yesterday, that our master dive brought us to Malahom Bay instead..He taught us some basic diving skills, and off we went for our first dive..We went down to 10 meters..That was quite deep..I was very excited, I didn't freak out at all..For beginners, we were doing great..even our master diver commented that we are like advanced divers already, that's why, for the second dive, he brought us way down below 13 meters..Oo, I think I was the only one who went deeper coz I got too carried away, and I left my buddy, of which I shouldn't have done..Sorry Buddy..nomore next time ya..hehehe...

Underwater world is a whole different world, you could not hear anything but the sound of the bubbles coming out from your regulator, and sometimes the knock on the tank by the dive instructor reminding you to keep pace... The visibility was not that fantastic yesterday, since it has rained the night before..Everything looked green for me..It felt like living in a green world! Really. As far as I could see... everything was green! I saw some corals, big ones, some of them look like giant mushrooms. I saw some sea urchins too, fish hiding in the sand..Seriously, I have never imagine that I'm actually doing it for real..I was enjoying the scenery all around me..I wonder, how does it feels like diving in Sipadan, mabul or Bohey Dulang...That one..I'm surely gonna do it this August..So, I'm gonna equip myself with as much diving skills as possible before I go and dive in Sipadan where the visibility underwater is said to be at least 50meters..Wow..COuldn't wait..

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getting my gears ready...

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The divers to be..hehehe..soon buddies, soon....

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all set and ready for our first session..basic diving skills of which we passed with flying colors...

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after the first dive...satisfied with our performance and starving..but it was really fun..I wanna do some more dives...hehe

the last entry....

While you might be grumbling how unfair life has treated you, and cursing how sucks everything is with you, or how resentful you are with the world or anyone at all..I'm all excited about my future plans...There's no reason for me to think about sad thing...I have no problem with anyone, or with anything...I might have hurt people unintentionally, but that doesn't mean I have to punish myself and stop being a normal human being..Well, folks I'm sorry that I don't share your sadness the way you do...I feel for you, yesss I really do..

I'm so gonna jump up and down if no one is around me at this moment..Suddenly, life has shown me more of its sides..The diving course is gonna be tommorow, and God's will, we will be able to get our diving license by next week..and I'm pushing Jr to arrange few dives in Selingan by end of this month..So Pok, you better talk to your friend, Sani..Kio..hehe..

The Bali trip is gonna be sometimes in August, but I'm a bit sceptical about this trip though..Financially I'm not ready yet..coz, I already confirmed my place on the next trip to Mabul, Sipadan and Bohey Dulang in August as well..Thanks to Kupi for organizing this trip..So, to my dear friends..if you're interested to join in, pls submit your name to Ms.Kupi..

Everyday is a new experience for me, meeting new people and get acquinted with great people or simply new friends..Everyday is a blessing..The air that you breathe, the morning glory which blooms in the morning, the birds in the sky..every single little thing..Those are all blessings..I have no reason to grumble..Works..tonnes of them..thats normal, right..!! You're earning a living..

This is gonna be my last entry for this week, I would like to apologize to anyone (if any) if I have offended you in any way..I'm just a normal human being who continuously committing mistakes, but in my imperfection I'd like to live my life to the fullest...

adios..Ja raishu aimasho...

Japanese Spitz...

Have I told you lately that I love you..opsss, that I love dogs..I'm crazy about dogs..I mean, seriously crazy..I just got a new puppy..Again..and this one is a medium sized puppy, or I think, she's gonna be much smaller than Bobbi..well, anyway, I don't mind the size..I just like to be surrounded by dogs, I mean, my dogs..Whenever I come home, they will jump on me, and when I sit..they will be licking my face all over..Nothing can top that..!!

So this girl Yukiko..I got her from my colleague..She is a Japanese Spitz..That explains her name..Yuki means snow..Yukiko means daughter of the Snow....

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I was late for work this morning because I spent too much time playing with them...hehe

I choose to be wise...

Live each day as if it’s your last...You know how people say, "Life is short". You can get hit by a bus at any moment, and you should live each and every moment as if it’s your last... Life is long.. Chances are that you wont be hit by a bus at any time soon...And the decisions you make now will run with you for a very long time...
So, be wise or let yourself fool you...

I choose to be wise......

Pros and COns....

I read this somewhere in a magazine today..and it has made me to think and questioned my inner soul..

“Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forward.” - Soren Kierkegaard, Danish philosopher (1813-1855).

In a way, it is true... For something in life, we may not understand it at the time we live our life... We may not understand why it happens in the way it does at the time, but we have to live with it and live it..Do we have any choice?? asked myself this, and I'm still trying to figure out how..or why?..Seriously, I don't know, how to question myself..I'm lost.. When we look back afterward in our life, we start to think that everything, afterall, they make sense in our mind and heart and we start to understand why it happened that way and why or how we have got to where we are right now because of it... Life must be lived forward, otherwise, we may not understand certain things in life if we get stuck in the past or present...

We are required to make choices in our everyday life, yeah, often without we knowing it..Some might be so ridiculous, and some might need us to crack our brains..The point is..you and me, we have to choose..and when we choose we might need to take into consideration the pros and cons of our actions..We have learned from our previous experiences that, regretting the past is so much a waste of time, coz there's nothing we can change about what had happened..It's often been said that life is a series of choices.. Think about it. As you progress from one stage of your life to another, you make choices that have far-reaching implications.

You can think about life in different phases. Being dependent, when we were small we rely on our parents to take care of us, to feed us, to clothe us. Then, we move into the preparation phase where we are getting ourselves ready to do something with our life. Then, in our stage now..it is all about performance..We are mature enough to think and be responsible of our doings..All of these phases are driven by choices. What you need to ask yourself is why you make the choices that you make..?

For me, I don't have the choice but to write something on this topic because I was asked by a friend of mine..So, to you my friend, I hope, you'd make a wise move and think about the pros and cons of your actions before you choose to do something..alright..I'm done...

an afternoon ramblings...

I don’t know how I fooled myself into thinking that a relationship can survive without trust as long as the love and desire is there, I was completely wrong. Trust is the single most important thing for a relationship’s survival because no trust means insecurities and insecurities means arguments and arguments lead to the loss of love, and thus the end of the relationship. Now that you know that no trust means disaster, how do you maintain the trust? Or better yet, can you get it back? I say it’s really hard to forgive and forget when you’ve given your heart to someone and they just trampled it and fed it to the dogs, but, I’ll be an optimist for a second.

I think respect and security are key to maintaining trust in a relationship because when you respect each other’s privacy, then your partner doesn’t feel the need to hide things from you. More respect means more sharing and less secrets. Also, respect that your partner has a life apart from you and doesn’t necessarily need to tell you every single, little detail of his/her day..I wouldn't be sooo nosy about it, well, at least I think, there's no need for me to know everything..Things you don't see, don't hear won't hurt..Is that really so?..Anyway..

Another thing is..it’s important to establish a line of communication by being confident that your partner will share and include you in all aspects of his/her life. If you are constantly scared that your partner is going to cheat on you and insecure of yourself, then that’s a huge problem. By being insecure you are constantly questioning yourself and your lover and that gets annoying. If you’re with someone, be confident that they want to be with you and be secure with your relationship and know that this person doesn’t have to be with you, but chooses to be..

For me, its pretty simple..Trust and obey..you know when you're being cheated, and once you know, then..act upon it..

A simple Farewell...

A fond farewell to our colleagues...I was sad to know that at least 6 of them are leaving..Infact, 4 of them have served their last day of work last Friday..From our academic site, we're gonna miss the company of our 4 friends..

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Noo..not us..we're gonna stay for a little longer..emm, waiting for our chance and opportunity to come by..hehehe

I was asked to organize a farewell party, and I did tried my very best to throw one, but instead of a party I suggested that we have a dinner cum farewell at a nearby seafood restaurant, and that was what we did last Monday..
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It was difficult for Freda to say goodbye to Sheila..I somehow don't understand it..It's not that she'll be gone and we could never meet her again..Infact she said, after she deliver her baby, she's gonna come back to ATI to teach as a part time lecturer..Well I think she's missing her company in the office..It's understood, they've been very good friends for such a long time already..

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The two good friends...Well, Freda, you can always go to Sheila's house bah..deiii...

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Elia was the tourist guide lecturer, and Farah was our Student Counselor..Good luck in your future undertakings...

To Sheila, Slyvester, Farah and Elia..Good bye to you all, and we shall meet again..Good luck in whatever you're doing.

couldn't wait...

It's not a great day for me today..For the same old reason I have been complaining about since last week..anyway, something excites me..really, the more I think about it, the more relax I am..The feeling is good, and I don't care if I have to invigilate the whole day..hehe..The long awaited event is soon going to take place, and I just couldn't wait for this Saturday to come..I would be spending 9 hours classromm session for my Diving Course...While the excitements overcome my feelings, I somehow feel a bit guilty for not being able to be home and celebrate mother's day..Shame on me..But hey, my parents and the rest of the family members will be spending the weekends in Kundasang, and I'm sure they are going to have a great time too..even without me..Huhu..Anyway, Mum, you know I love you to the max, I would not be there to hug you and wish you Happy Mother's Day, but, you know..I'm always your son and I love you...You're the best Mother in the world..(yeah, everyone's mother is..)

Aight, back to my initial purpose of this writing..The way I write is often puddle of consciousness..Let it all drip in a page and let see what it means in the end..hehe..Well, I did that with this topic and was rather surprised with what the message was that I had written. Why I want to dive?..anyway, this is still my ramblings though..So, here are the reasons why I am so crazy head over heel about diving..

1. The excitement
2. The challenge
3. The beauty
4. The serenity
5. The hunt
6. The socializing
7. and of course the fun..

Well, mostly, I'll go for the excitement and challenge..I must admit, I am an adrenaline junky..I love thrills..While not most people dive because of the same reasons as mine, I am not recommending this to everyone..I must say, diving is not for everyone...But, this is the reasons why many people like to dive..

I have always been a strong swimmer..I still remember, growing up as a 'kampung boy' the river was our playground..We would go to the river almost everyday after school and play until it was almost dark..We used spears to catch fish, and to do so, we need to dive..those younger days, I could hold my breathe for more than a minute, will only come up to the surface for a quick breathe of air before diving back to the bottom of the river..and o yes, we loved it especially when it was raining heavily and the water level increased..I found out that the strong current really a challenge, and I loved it..I did not do it for the danger though and luckily, I never got hurt..Well, you don't really know what danger is when you were that young..

Now, I always fantasize myself being underwater..I've heard so much about diving, and I know, it would be a great dissapointment, and embrassment for me if I don't get to try it once..at least..hehe..I can actually imagine myself diving among the fish and experience for myself the feeling of being 10 feet below the surface..I should be thankful to those bunch of friends who have kept their words and making it possible for me to take the diving course this time..For real..

For the time being, I would try to organize a trip to a diving spot, coz once we have our license we would like to be an active divers..emm..Couldn't wait...

best man story..

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I have been asked to be the Best Man at my friend's wedding..What an honor..Someone clearly thinks very highly of me, I must be quite the guy..hehehe..Flattered to the hilt, I happily agreed, but now that I've gotten myself into this, I realize that I may not be entirely sure what I'm supposed to do as the best man. Just what exactly is the role of the best man? Yeah, I know, I am usually a pretty confident guy, but I was feeling just a touch nervous and a little unsure of myself. Maybe I haven't been to that many weddings, and if I have, I wasn't carefully studying the best man. The maid of honor, maybe, but not the best man..

The wedding started at 11, but I was asked to come at 10 am to Sacred Heart Church..Waking up after an eventful drinking session the night before wasn't a piece of cake for me..If it weren't for the puppies who waited eargerly to be let go to the field, I would have slept a little bit longer..Luckily, I have been wise enough to have everything ready for the event.. I was not rushing...

I reached the church at 10..and as I stepped out of the car, I heard the hymn was sang..and I thought, I was already late..so I rushed to the main entrance only to find out that it was another couple's wedding..Pheeeww!! Don't give me heart attack now..The reception went for almost an hour, and I was just sitting outside of the church waiting for the bride and groom..my bride and groom..I could have sworn that I have cursed, I should have come later..I was sweating and I was still sleepy..

Around 11, the first wedding was over, and everyone has left, then only my bride and groom came, right after the bride stepped out of the car, the reception started..Walking along the isle was not difficult at all, and I did it very calmly like I have done this before many times..and I was really happy the wedding wasn't that long as I have anticipated..It was very brief..less singing, less praying, the exchanging of wedding bows was also brief..well basically..It was very short..It was good for me though, because I'm not the type of person who can stand the heat of the world..and for the Sacred Heart church, they need more fans, please..We need to be comfortable inside the church not complaining about the temperatur..Like I did...

Well, to say the least, I enjoyed being the best man, I'm not gonna tell you everything in detail, suffice to say, it's worth it..At least i have done something good for an old friend..maybe next time it will be my turn to get married, and I'm gonna need to find someone who can stand up for me and be my best man..hehe..

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Me..The Best Man..

Went out drinking again last night..Was drunk enough that I forgot most parts of the session..anyway, I received a phone call from my friend's fiance this morning asking me if I could be her husband-to-be's best man at thieir soon to be held wedding...I said yes..The groom is my friend since we were in University, and we lost contact for more than 5 years or so, and now that he's getting married and he wants me to be his Best man..It's an honor for me to do that..

I will write more about me being the Best Man when the wedding is over..I can actually see all the beers coming to me, and see me drinking on behalf of the groom, since he is not so much of a drinker..emm, I think so..Means I'll be dead meat...

o yes..I would like to share this wedding humor with you..hope you'd enjoy it..

A Man's Viewpoint of Marriage
submitted by Michele Mulvey

1. Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence (A life sentence!!!)

2. Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over the strings are attached.

3. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Marriage is an institution. Therefore marriage is an institution for the blind.

4. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters.

5. Marriage is a thing which puts a ring on a woman's finger and two .... under the man's eyes.

6. Marriage certificate is just another name for a work permit.

7. Marriage is not just having a wife but also worries inherited forever.

8. Marriage requires a man to prepare 5 types of "RINGS" :
a) The Engagement Ring
b) The Wedding Ring
c) The SufferingRing
d) The EnduringRing
e) The TorturingRing

9. Married life is full of excitment and frustration:
-In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
-In the second year, the women speaks and the man listens.
-In the THIRD year, they both speak and the NEIGHBOURS listen.

10. It is true that love is blind but marriage is definetly an eye-opener.

11. Getting married is very much like going to the restaurant with friends...You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.

12. It's true; all men are born free and equal - but some of them get married.

13. There was this man who muttered a few mords in the church and found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced.

14. A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives and his wife takes.

15. Son : How much does it cost to get married , Dad?
Dad : I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.
Son : Is it true, Dad, that I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries ?
Dad : That happens everywhere, son. EVERYWHERE.
16. There was a man who said, "I never knew what happiness was until I got married .. and then it was too late !!"

17. Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

18. They say that when a man holds a woman hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage it is self-defence.

19. When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.

20. There was this lover who told his love that he would go through hell for her. They got married - and now he is going through HELL !

21. Marriage is like a besieged castle - those on the outside want to get in,and those on the inside want to get out.

22. A man is not complete until he marries - after that he is finished.


HAPPY LABOUR'S DAY