Keeping My Faith.....

One of the things I’m good at is planning...(yeah, I can see that smirk on your face) It comes naturally to me. You have a goal, so you develop a strategy and tactics to accomplish that goal. It’s simple. It is very easy to cope with.. Sure, surprises may come up, and things might turn the way around, and you see yourself drifting away from your original plan..but you deal with them along the long as you have the plan, everything will be fine..It's like your guiding gives you a sense of direction..

The problem comes when you begin to realize you may have to abandon the plan because it’s not working. The long awaited thing you were hoping for just isn’t going to happen. I’m sure you can relate. It may not be the same set of circumstances that I’m facing, but in your life, there was probably a time when you realized a particular course of action wasn’t going to lead you anywhere. Whether it was pursuing a member of the opposite sex who had no interest in you, trying to become a professional athlete, a prayer that just never seemed to get answered, realizing you weren’t going to get rich by investing a ringgit or two in TOTO Mega Jackport..(Ughh..I've been buying it almost everytime if there's any draw..addicted)..dyou may have felt like it was time for you to give up on a certain goals, and just forget it, pretending that you have never have it coming in to you. But what happens when you do that? Where do you go next? Is there a place even? hehehe.. What do you do when that thing you thought would be so right turned out to be wrong?..Drop down and die? Run and hide away..? Why should you..if you do so, you've just turned yourself into a stupid pathetic idiot ever..

However, I feel frozen now at life’s metaphorical crossroads..I'm getting so many things in my mind, and I could not really sort them out in their respective catogeries.. I’m not entirely certain that I should abandon the old plan, and I have no idea what the new plan should be. I know God has a plan for me.. The problem is that I just don’t know what it is yet..Or maybe, I've neglected the "callings"..

During our church service of which I wholeheartedly joined 2 weeks ago, I felt like God was asking me to step out and take a leap of faith, to follow Him even though I don’t know where He’s going..When the Pastor asked, who wants to renew your faith, rise up?..I think, I was the one who stood up first.. Maybe it’s time to stop planning my life and let Him take the reins. For better or worse, maybe it’s time to stop trying to be in control. I’m not sure I’m ready, but maybe I need to relinquish control and follow Him blindly until the time is right and the next steps are revealed. As the Pastor said, sometimes you have to “break up” to “break out”.

My future may not turn out exactly the way I planned it, but that’s okay. God has given me so many blessings in life that I really can’t complain. I have the best in almost my everything.. How can I ask for more?


  1. GuRaNgAk said...

    "..realizing you weren’t going to get rich by investing a ringgit or two in TOTO Mega Jackport.."

    Hmm..tau takpe..lagi mau beli :p
    Hindi ko alam..

  2. XiGorX said...

    hehe..addiction baa tu..and then, you might not know, maybe your luck is just in one of the few ringgits spent..hehehe..Typical gambler's thinking tul kan...

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