Random Thoughts

I like to read what other people write, and once I started reading blogs, I thought I might be able to contribute something. I thought I'd have something useful to share. Frankly speaking, I'm less and less convinced of that. Nonetheless, I love what I'm doing, and I blog in part because I want to talk about what I do, what I read, what I care about. And sometimes I want to complain about things, because even the best academic departments, colleagues, administrators, or students can really drive me crazy sometimes...Gosh..they really do..

I think we academics do a lousy job explaining what we do and why it's important to everyone else, especially to our students. I hope blogging will help me communicate what happens with education and why education is so important and actually worth paying for. But, I guess, they care less about their educations..They think that, going to college/U is just another phase in life that they have to go thru..Perhaps, they don't care at all... Well, off course, there are some of them who are genuinely serious with their studies, but, I could hardly see them..Or..Maybe I'm wrong..None of them??

Listen to what your elders have to say, because, they have traveled the way you must travel. But then again..It's all up to you..By all means, you can choose your path yourself..Like I did..That's none of my business, right??? Why should I worry..? I worry too much about some things, way too much. I expend endless energy stupidly worrying or being angry about things I can't change. I should know better, but I disappoint myself. And sometimes I just want to scream about how things here frustrate me.

At times, it stuns me to think how much trust some of the students place in me. I know professors/lecturers who are total jerks (in my college last time). I can certainly be pretty much a jerk at times. I don't imagine, in this medium-sized class, that I've done anything to earn the student's trust. I absolutely love those moments. and I take the responsibility that comes with that trust very seriously.

This is one of those reasons I'm so happy to be a lecturer/teacher. I can build up a wall of objectivity. Students do come to me with problems, but it's in a way that I can handle, because I expect it. I just don't know. I don't have the energy to put into this particular concern in a big way. I recognize it as a concern, and I'm willing to do my job.

I think, I've been holding my breath all the time while trying to squeeze my head for the best possible words to express what I'm feeling deep inside..Trust that you have received this response for a reason--perhaps so that you (student) could stop holding your breathe too.