A slap on the face...WAKE UP

I’m having a really difficult time doing what I say I’m going to do... Not for others, I’m still relatively on track with that.. Not perfect, far from it, but better than I am with myself.. I never do what I promise myself..and that's a shame..

Me and myself, we’re always planning to improve things, set things right. We’re going to do meditate, exercise, write, read, file stuffs.. I have a long wistful list scribbled on my yellow pad.. I’ve even broken everything down into hourly pockets to make sure everything fits..

I write all of this down, I believe myself and then I walk away. I get distracted.. Someone needs this NOW, someone I love is having a nervous breakdown, there is always one of those.. And the day goes and at the end of it there is nothing.. Just my list.. I haven’t done one of the things, not one..

Over time I have learnt to trust myself less than my most capricious acquaintances... Never has anyone let me down as much as I, myself.. I have got, so I simply don’t believe in anything I say...

So I’m changing that. I’m making a spreadsheet. Now!!... It will have two headings under every day: 1. What I did not do and 2. What I did do.

That’s it....

Not what I should have done or what I promise to do. No judgment. Only observation...


I real slap on the face to make me stay wide awake...I’m going to ‘see’ what happens...

1 comments:

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