my random thoughts
I wrote this one in my facebook notes sometimes ago....and I wish to share it here..
I should say..now, its a slap on my face....I feel like a hypocrite..but, hey..I know myself....:)
For many of us, love begins with deep passion, romance, and hot steamy sex (well, it doesn't have to include sex all the time, though). This is what I call the first stage of love, the euphoric stage..the stage when you think that you're walking on cloud 9, or on a field where the pastures are greener..everything is sweet, every song is melodious, you guessed, it was PERFECT... You are together all the time, love everything about each other, see no faults in one another, and cannot seem to keep your hands off each other...and you say "my endless love", or could it be your theme song?... As time goes by, you get to know one another..Every single thing about each other.. The party manners disappear, and you begin to see that your loved one is not so perfect, after all... This is the point where, if you are expecting perfection in another person, you will become disenchanted, and the relationship will end..*sigh*... You cannot expect perfection in anyone, including yourself... If you do, you are living your life in fantasy, and always will be disappointed...Even thinking about this is disappointing enough already...
Contemplate this for a moment...you have just met the person of your dreams.. You are attracted to this person physically and emotionally.. he or she has a great sense of humor, is affectionate, romantic, and a fabulous lover..and your eyes are set on him/her... Your new partner does all the right things, pushes all the right buttons, and you have.... gosh!!! I hate this phrase... fallen head over heels in love with him/her.... One day, your perfect, remarkable partner begins to irritate you.. You may discover that this person is a slob and not that special, after all...and all of a sudden, you cannot stand being in his or her place because it's such a pig pen..it's nauseating and irritating to the core..whatever you may wanna call it... One day you notice that your once-flawless love, who has run out of clean underwear, goes to the laundry hamper to retrieve a slightly less soiled pair... You go into the bathroom to find it flooded with water from the shower, his razor stubble, or her make-up and toothpaste, lining the sink.. To top it all off, if it is a man in question, he left the lid up or did not flush the toilet. So do you dump this person? Based on my experiences in life, I do not think you should....
This is an extreme example, but it could happen... Love will reach a stage where you will begin to notice your partner's shortcomings..the imperfections in him/her...all things that you may have overlooked before... So what do you do? Do you give up? Relationships end for many at this point, because the fantasy has been shattered... He or she is not that perfect, after all. When you come to this point, you have graduated to the next stage of relationship.. It's a challenge, an invitation, to achieve a new level of intimacy with your partner... Many of us choose, at this point, not to communicate our needs or feelings, but rather to detour into anger, and obvious mere mortals special trait.. Out of fear, some of us repress our feelings... In many cases, we just plain run as fast as we can and jump over the rainbow if we could... Aah...these are all just normal human reactions, when faced with this awakening... Should you choose to be angry, or if you choose to repress your feelings or to run, you are missing the opportunity to rise to the next level of intimacy...Many, wouldn't be able to think straight....
The so called endless love ends.... it is a time when your brain starts having more input than your hormones... When euphoric love ends, you have come to a stage in the relationship where you are thinking seriously about a future with your partner... Questions come to mind, such as, Can I live with this person, the way he/she is right now?, Do I want to share the rest of my life with this person?..These are big questions, and they tend to elicit fear.. The fear is totally normal, but it catches many of us off guard.. Many of us take this fear as a sign that the relationship is not meant to be..It was but a mistake..or perhaps, was it just a stupid infatuation??... In reality, this fear is a reflection of how important your relationship is becoming... When we start to consider a future that includes our partner, we tend to look at them more critically... While this is natural, it's important not to forget the positives that brought you together in the first place...You should celebrate this stage in your relationship... it's a sign of growth, a love relationship on the rise... Remember, the art of loving is a lifelong commitment...and I wanna remind myself of that from time to time... It is the further development of learning.. to love ourselves, our partner, and all those around us..(sounds like something that I could not accomplish)....
If you and your partner decide to commit to the further development of your relationship, you need to know that this is when the real work begins.. Love cannot sustain itself... It requires patience, confidence, discipline, concentration, faith, and practice daily.. These are words for us to remember..Relationships change continually... As relationships grow, the level of commitment increases and the love matures... Mature love does not occur overnight.. It develops over time, and requires that you give of yourself some times.....
and who am I again to talk about these stuffs.....a mere human being...just a thought I think worth sharing with everyone....Love and be loved...:P
I should say..now, its a slap on my face....I feel like a hypocrite..but, hey..I know myself....:)
For many of us, love begins with deep passion, romance, and hot steamy sex (well, it doesn't have to include sex all the time, though). This is what I call the first stage of love, the euphoric stage..the stage when you think that you're walking on cloud 9, or on a field where the pastures are greener..everything is sweet, every song is melodious, you guessed, it was PERFECT... You are together all the time, love everything about each other, see no faults in one another, and cannot seem to keep your hands off each other...and you say "my endless love", or could it be your theme song?... As time goes by, you get to know one another..Every single thing about each other.. The party manners disappear, and you begin to see that your loved one is not so perfect, after all... This is the point where, if you are expecting perfection in another person, you will become disenchanted, and the relationship will end..*sigh*... You cannot expect perfection in anyone, including yourself... If you do, you are living your life in fantasy, and always will be disappointed...Even thinking about this is disappointing enough already...
Contemplate this for a moment...you have just met the person of your dreams.. You are attracted to this person physically and emotionally.. he or she has a great sense of humor, is affectionate, romantic, and a fabulous lover..and your eyes are set on him/her... Your new partner does all the right things, pushes all the right buttons, and you have.... gosh!!! I hate this phrase... fallen head over heels in love with him/her.... One day, your perfect, remarkable partner begins to irritate you.. You may discover that this person is a slob and not that special, after all...and all of a sudden, you cannot stand being in his or her place because it's such a pig pen..it's nauseating and irritating to the core..whatever you may wanna call it... One day you notice that your once-flawless love, who has run out of clean underwear, goes to the laundry hamper to retrieve a slightly less soiled pair... You go into the bathroom to find it flooded with water from the shower, his razor stubble, or her make-up and toothpaste, lining the sink.. To top it all off, if it is a man in question, he left the lid up or did not flush the toilet. So do you dump this person? Based on my experiences in life, I do not think you should....
This is an extreme example, but it could happen... Love will reach a stage where you will begin to notice your partner's shortcomings..the imperfections in him/her...all things that you may have overlooked before... So what do you do? Do you give up? Relationships end for many at this point, because the fantasy has been shattered... He or she is not that perfect, after all. When you come to this point, you have graduated to the next stage of relationship.. It's a challenge, an invitation, to achieve a new level of intimacy with your partner... Many of us choose, at this point, not to communicate our needs or feelings, but rather to detour into anger, and obvious mere mortals special trait.. Out of fear, some of us repress our feelings... In many cases, we just plain run as fast as we can and jump over the rainbow if we could... Aah...these are all just normal human reactions, when faced with this awakening... Should you choose to be angry, or if you choose to repress your feelings or to run, you are missing the opportunity to rise to the next level of intimacy...Many, wouldn't be able to think straight....
The so called endless love ends.... it is a time when your brain starts having more input than your hormones... When euphoric love ends, you have come to a stage in the relationship where you are thinking seriously about a future with your partner... Questions come to mind, such as, Can I live with this person, the way he/she is right now?, Do I want to share the rest of my life with this person?..These are big questions, and they tend to elicit fear.. The fear is totally normal, but it catches many of us off guard.. Many of us take this fear as a sign that the relationship is not meant to be..It was but a mistake..or perhaps, was it just a stupid infatuation??... In reality, this fear is a reflection of how important your relationship is becoming... When we start to consider a future that includes our partner, we tend to look at them more critically... While this is natural, it's important not to forget the positives that brought you together in the first place...You should celebrate this stage in your relationship... it's a sign of growth, a love relationship on the rise... Remember, the art of loving is a lifelong commitment...and I wanna remind myself of that from time to time... It is the further development of learning.. to love ourselves, our partner, and all those around us..(sounds like something that I could not accomplish)....
If you and your partner decide to commit to the further development of your relationship, you need to know that this is when the real work begins.. Love cannot sustain itself... It requires patience, confidence, discipline, concentration, faith, and practice daily.. These are words for us to remember..Relationships change continually... As relationships grow, the level of commitment increases and the love matures... Mature love does not occur overnight.. It develops over time, and requires that you give of yourself some times.....
and who am I again to talk about these stuffs.....a mere human being...just a thought I think worth sharing with everyone....Love and be loved...:P
0 comments:
Post a Comment